As I lay in my hospital bed for yet another issue, I can't help but think about cars. I'm in the middle of buying a car for my girl and I was supposed to get the money to the owner but couldn't because my face swole up like a golf ball. Of coarse since I have Sickle Cell sc disease they admitted me since any infection could be life threatening. It was a simple cellulitis scare but I'm in a room with a man with colon cancer, I mean hearing all the complications this man is going through behind the curtain next to me is crazy. He's having complications with his colostomy bag and needs the nurse to wash him and feed him his Ritalin, and I'm complaining about a bump on my jaw and the fact that I'm not driving our new bimmer yet. This coupled with the earth quake that hit VA and shook Nyc yesterday brings me to a revelation. I can't stress anymore, I mean it's been a TOUGH week... My left eye filled up with blood again rendering me blind in it until the blood evaporates which usually takes about 7 months to clear up but it's even worse since the extra tension from the blood washing around in there could possibly tug the retina from the optical nerve. But I have to let go and let god handle it, as cynical as I am about churches being simply businesses (going to allen, Floyd Flakes church doesn't help) I have to realize that we are not in control, we just are not. We're passengers in a really fast moving car, with no steering wheel brake or gas pedal within reach, we can only give directional input. My health complications have effected every aspect of my life since day one, I've lost great jobs, gotten rid of girlfriends, and even missed out on a full Scholarship to R.I.S.D due to the schools distance away from my doctors. It's not fair but it's not colon caner either I can't harp on where I would be if not for this disease, I'm still here and that means there's time to turn it around. So you know what I'm going to write a lil' post in my blog (that not many follow and will read) pick my self back up and keep it moving. We all have a story to tell and this just makes mine a little more interesting.
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